22nd December 2015

INFORMATION UPDATE

 Issue No.  2015/22

 Sentient
              

 

Christmas Sing-a-Long

Well we couldn’t miss sending our annual “tongue in cheek” update and hope it gives you a smile.  At this time of year you can’t fail to notice the culmination of various and “supposed” TV talent shows involving singing in its various guises.  We can’t help thinking what songs we might perform should we ever do the carnage that is Karaoke.

With our key services in mind – may be it would go like this:-

Our HR team are always keen to hear from clients.  Last week Paul had The Smiths on with a rendition of their “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now.”  They had clearly just read the latest plans for increased employee rights in the Family Friendly sector!!  Of course our clients call any day of the week – with Sunday being a particular favourite of the Boomtown Rats complaining that “They Don’t Like Mondays”.  Christmas week is an odd one and we are waiting Martin’s favourite callers Bachmann Turner Overdrive who tell us “You Aint Seen Nothing Yet” and how they cancelled Christmas leave so they can “Take Care of Business”.

On 25th December we expect Santa to call – he is of course the 5th Beatle and will be carouseling us with “It’s Been a Hard Day’s Night”.  He regaled us one year, of his delivery via the narrow access to the house of One Direction with “Drag Me Down (the Chimney)”. In some sort of time warp Davie Bowie was left inspired to write “(Confined) Space Oddity”. 

A trip down memory lane to 2003 and our first year in business conjures up memories of our advice on a gross misconduct disciplinary with the errant employee being escorted from the premises accompanied by Will Young’s “Leave Right Now”.  But only after a full investigation of the facts and due process of course.

Moving onto Health and Safety – Elaine has been looking to make COSHH more interesting by singing her version of Britney Spears’ “Toxic” whilst writing up Risk Assessments.  It’s either that or “In Dust We Trust” by the Chemical Brothers or in our case the Comical Brothers!

Being well versed in dealing with heavy metal and manual handling we could not resist playing our version of American thrash metal band Megadeth’s 8th Album “Risk (Assessment)”! and all employers should keenly attend to Risk Assessments – well we would say that wouldn’t we?  Picking up on construction issues, we often find a need to break into “Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats or the perils of missing out on Fire Risk Assessments leading to “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes” by the Platters – who interestingly are also loaded with “Food for Thought” by UB40.

On food we have Lindsey and her playlist for Christmas dinner could not be more scrumptious.

Starter:-  That old (suitable for vegetarians) Herbie Hancock’s Jazz classic “(Fan of) Water Melon Man”

Main:-  Turkey held “Hot (at 63oC) Right Now” by DJ Fresh and Rita Ora with all the trimmings including “Piggies (in blankets)” from the Beatles White (Wine) Album

Desert:- “Tutti Frutti (Pud)” by Little Richard

She should be OK as long as she doesn’t find UB40's “Rat in Mi Kitchen”!

Which brings us finally to the Boxing Day leftovers set out in Jimmy Buffett’s “Hey Good Lookin’ (Whatcha Got Cookin’?)”

Well – hope you like our little trawl through the playlists.  Have a great Christmas and a prosperous start for 2016.


 

 

 

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Sentient adj ...

"capable of perception"

"capable of independent thought"

 

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