20th December 2017

INFORMATION UPDATE

 Issue No.  2017/16

 Sentient
              

 

Waxing Lyrical for Christmas

It is traditional at this time of year for us to sign off with something slightly different and we hope you get a smile or two from the following tongue in cheek swipe at the environment we work in.

As the Bard might once have penned: - well OK, perhaps not! 

T’was the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck
He’s having to alter and be politically correct
His elves were insisting he refer to them different
Like ‘colleague’ or ‘co-worker’ else face their embitterment.

His number one reindeer, a very cool dude
Is now known as Olf as you cannot be rude
And even when said in jest or as banter
You’ll end up in court with saucy old Santa.

A work wear policy that includes use of ermine
Must now be discarded and new stuff determined
Leather and fur are considered quite frightening
So its woollens or cotton for the completely enlightened.

The sled that was once pulled by Comet and Cupid
Will now have a wind turbine – won’t that look stupid
The cherry and mince pies make him Diabetic Type 2
So with carrots and elderflower he’ll have to make do.

All gifts must never be gender specific
Just all made of beige and pseudoscientific
Nothing in blue and nothing in pink
Just boringly neutral - I shudder to think.

He met all obligations displaying great bravery
Controlling bribery, corruption and now modern slavery
His pay bands for workers were transparently algebraical
He passed all his audits, both ISO and Ethical.

The tasks were all looked at for hazard and risk
With training completed by video disk (remember them)
Lots of equipment for handling machinery
So pragmatic lifting forms part of the scenery.

When cooking, stay clear of contamination
Controlling your microbes and pest infestation
A food hygiene system and defence due diligent
Could head off enforcement and show you are vigilant.

With all this to deal with his Christmas looked gloomy
He thought ‘all my helpers, they’re going to sue me’
So if struggling to avoid a potential impeachment
Just pick up the phone and call us at Sentient.

Everyone at Sentient would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and best wishes for 2018.


 

 

 

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Sentient adj ...

"capable of perception"

"capable of independent thought"

 

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The advice and comment in this update is not meant to be an authoritative statement of law. The articles and summaries should not be applied to any specific set of facts and circumstances without seeking further advice. Whilst every care is taken to ensure that the content is correct Sentient cannot accept responsibility for the accuracy of statements made nor the result of any actions taken by individuals after reading such.

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